road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
