Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize