I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
