You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
