The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
