:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
