Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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