so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize