youre lurking in front of me
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
