OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
