i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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