wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
