I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
