ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
