I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
