I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
is that a dick in a sweater?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
