What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
