Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
