I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
honey bunches of taint.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
