haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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