We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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