I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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