after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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