This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think your dad took our porno
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize