how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
