I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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