I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
