whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize