we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
