I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
it glows. i had to have it.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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