you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
