sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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