I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
