someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
