my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
