Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
