you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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