There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
