I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
