how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
