I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
