i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
