Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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