a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
