i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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