Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Panties = found
Randomize
