A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
