A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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