im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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