I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
