SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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