Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet

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(208): View more from Idaho

Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly

(1-208): View more from Idaho

What is a GED?

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(217): View more from Illinois

she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work

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(646): View more from New York

Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.

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(916): View more from California

This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.

(831): View more from California

How much did you smoke??

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces

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(360): View more from Washington

No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst

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(917): View more from New York City

My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...

(1-917): View more from New York City

Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...

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