What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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