His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
