I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
