Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
