You can't motorboat a personality
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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