he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just want nice things and good sex
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize