I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
