Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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