i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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