I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
