I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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