By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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