I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
