now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Someone came in the potted fern
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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