Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize